Urban Outfitters: Vintage without the smell.
Doc Martens: The best alternative to high heels.
Nivea Suncream: Le Eau De Holiday
Alfa Romeo: The most beautiful things are always high maintenance.
Joop Cologne: Make-Up for blind people.
Bran Flakes: Regularity is the key to success.
Financial Times: FT readers don’t want you reading the FT.
Butterkist: Dramatic projectiles.
Febreeze: Escape the sniffer dogs.
B&Q: The quickest way up the property ladder.
B&Q: Because you need that security deposit back.
Selfridges: If you can’t afford the clothes, come for the food.
Santander Bikes: Kick your caffeine habit.
JD Sports: Travel comfortably.
Just for Men: Cheaper than a fake ID.
Aviva Pensions: Don’t have a pension? That’s Elder abuse.
Pukka Tea: The best thing since water.