Urban Outfitters: Vintage without the smell.

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Doc Martens: The best alternative to high heels.

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Nivea Suncream: Le Eau De Holiday

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Alfa Romeo: The most beautiful things are always high maintenance. 

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Joop Cologne: Make-Up for blind people.

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Bran Flakes: Regularity is the key to success.

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Financial Times: FT readers don’t want you reading the FT.

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Butterkist: Your own SFX.

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Febreze: L'eau de innocence.

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B&Q: The quickest way up the property ladder.

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B&Q: Because you need that security deposit back.

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Selfridges: If you can’t afford the clothes, come for the food.

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Santander Bikes: Decaffeinate your commute

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JD Sports: Travel comfortably.

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Just for Men grey hair dye: Instant experience.

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Aviva Pensions: Don’t have a pension? That’s Elder abuse.

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Pukka Tea: The best thing since water.